A HOLIDAY-THEMED ROAD-WITCH TRIAL WITH A CHARITY ELEMENT

CAR, SIGNS, CONES, POLICE TAPE, COTTOL WOOL, INFLATABLE SANTA, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, CHILDREN'S BOOTS

10 POUNDS STERLING

1 DAYS PREP, 3 HOURS SETUP

Entering into the spirit of the season, this Road-Witch Trial was a charity raiser, where motorists had their speed measured by the radar gun my dad sent me (see 'game over')

Motorists who stopped were 'fined' by the elves: suggested donation to a children's head injury charity was your speed in pence. Most people who bothered to stop gave a quid.

Of course, it wouldn't be Christmas without Scrooge, and there's nothing like being in a car to bring out the bah humbug.Over half the motorists scowled at us and didn't stop, not including the professional drivers (many of whom did stop!)

Perhaps they didn't want to encourage the idea that children had any right whatsoever to be on their turf. After all, children dont pay 'road tax'. ("Are there no playgrounds, no leisure centres?")

The children's boots were collected from the street. Originally, a line of them went all the way across the road, but some people thought this might be 'dangerous' to motorists. I had trouble understanding this, as the boots were rubber and not moving at great speed, but I agreed to move them to the side.

I dont go in for this sort of clowning around anymore, but it seems to hark back to a more innocent and disempowered era of the Road-Witch Trial.

I still dont know what to do with all the boots. And I hope I didn't kill the Santa myth for any children of a certain age.